January 17th made one full month since the last time I ran. My knee is better but every once in awhile it still feels like it buckles when I walk and my left leg still hurts some. Sometime I will use the patella band to walk because I will limp some and it helps me to stand for long periods of time. I recently got a knee stabilizer because I thought it may help me get back out there. I will admit I’m a little anxious about it but I’m also afraid of losing everything I worked so hard to obtain over the last year and half almost two years. From what I’ve read it doesn’t take long to lose it. I’m still looking for a personal trainer the ones at the gym I go to are not very good. I think a personal trainer will be more attentive to the needs of my knee and leg. I thought about Cross Fit but I think they are too aggressive and I’m afraid I may do more harm than good there. One thing for sure is I want/need to get back out there.
This past week was my birthday week (the 19th) I love birthdays! I think birthdays should be celebrated! I don’t understand people who say it’s “just another day”. I think that is a reflection of how they see themselves. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t get to celebrate my birthday when I was little. But celebrating who you are is necessary.
I recently read a blog of someone who kept referring to himself as a middle-aged man just because he turned 50 as if it there was nothing more he could accomplish in life; but “the kids turned out ok”. As if his kids destiny had anything to do with him; newsflash we are all someone’s child and what we do with our lives is completely up to us. I refuse to give in to our cultural drama of “being over the hill”. There is a great book Goddesses Never Age I try to give to my friends on their birthdays because it just changes how we view getting older. She has a brilliant line “getting older is inevitable aging is optional” I just love that! I see that exhibited in the runners out there who are older than me and putting up better times than me too. Ha! I refuse to see myself as an old person. It throws my friends off when they come at me with all that negative talk and I rebut it. Running has helped me with this as well; if we take care of our bodies our bodies will reward us. People tell me all the time “you don’t look…fill in the blank with a number” Which I have never really understood. What exactly does that whatever that age look like? As the author of the book Goddesses Never Age says stop telling people your age, not out of vanity, so people can’t put you into a box of “well for your age”, or “at your age”, etc. I really have no problem telling people my age; sometimes I do it on purpose especially to people who are younger who have put all these limits on themselves strictly based on age it’s ridiculous! When I tell people that I run that’s when it really comes out “oh I’m too old to run” Really?
I have more races to run, a degree to obtain, trips to take, and things I haven’t thought of yet. So celebrate those birthdays, celebrate who are, everything you have accomplished and have yet to accomplish. It’s not over until it’s over…