If We Think It So It Shall Be

Well my MRI is finally scheduled for Thursday of this week exactly two weeks to day that I had my doctor’s appointment. I’m not sure what took so long to get the pre-authorization from the insurance but I’ve never had a pre-auth take almost two weeks to obtain. Hopefully we will have some answer soon as to what is going on. Which leads me to the point of this post. It’s interesting when some people ask me about what has been going on I start to hear the horror story of age. I don’t see myself as an “old person” in fact when I someone tells me I don’t look my age I’m often perplexed by the statement. What exactly does that mean? What exactly is my age “supposed to” look like. I got a text from a friend today who is the exact same age as I am and she described herself as “overweight, sick, and old” but she started training for the distance run here in Charleston in August; which was going to be “an uphill fight”. I keep telling people despite whatever is going on with me, my goal is to be back out there running again. I’m going to let my body really heal; but I plan to be back out there no matter what. I don’t use words like old, sick, aging, etc. I find them to be negative and if you bring that type of thinking into your world that is what you become. I’m not sure why our culture is programmed to believe when you get into your 40’s or for some your 30’s somehow life is over and it’s all downhill. That’s why I don’t tell people my age anymore, not for vanity sake so people can’t put me into a box of the “supposed to for your age” BS. When I don’t tell people what my age is they actually think I’m years younger than I really am. I think that is in part due to my attitude, I don’t talk about aliments all the damn time, you never hear me say dumb stuff like “I’m getting old”,  I do my best to keep negativity out of my world, and I’m good to my body, one of the reasons I want to get back out there running again. My doctor said my labs were great, cholesterol every thing were fantastic! Whoo! Why on earth would I call myself old for crying out loud?!

I’m not sure what happens to us as we transition into adulthood. It’s like my running coach told us, our bodies are built for running. As kids we run all the time and don’t even think about it; it’s fun. Then we become adults and we forget it was once fun and say ridiculous things like “running is bad for your knees”. Maybe it’s all that weight on top of your knees that’s bad for you…just sayin…Anyway, I don’t want to be one of those people who is always talking about becoming an old person, that’s the fastest way to become one. As a child of the  80’s I saw all the John Hughes movies (wasn’t that a requirement). The Breakfast Club was one of my favorites. There is a line in this movie when they are questioning if they are going to be like their parent’s. To which Ally Sheedy’s character says “it inevitable when you grow up your heart dies”. I think there is some truth to that statement. We grow up and forget how to play or that we even once kids. I’m not talking abut being irresponsible but not following some script that says I have to stop living, dreaming, accomplishing and being adventurous because I’v reached a certain age. Where is this written??

My 50th birthday is in January and I’m already thinking about how I want to celebrate it. And one thing for sure is there will not be anyone allowed who will be talking about being over the hill or any old stuff; I am not the one. Heck, maybe I’ll be ready to do my first full marathon by then..who knows!!..I’m currently watching this ultra marathon going on across the Sahara Desert, SlowRunnerGirl mentioned it in her blog. This is the coolest thing ever; I’m not saying I could ever do this but there are people of all ages doing this thing! I gotta give props! Ultra runners amaze me and they have my respect. They inspire me to keep going and not get caught up in all the negative stuff. But the same can be said for those who are finishing their first 5k and never thought they would, that was me three years ago. I admire people who don’t limit themselves with the excuse of age and get out there do what they want.

So MRI on Thursday and no matter what the results show I will be pushing forward and do my best to not get caught up in those “old” negative Nancy’s out there. Maybe I should take one of those emotional age quizzes. It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of those; the last time I did one I was much younger than my biological age.

Update after my MRI…until then keep it positive and watch those thoughts…🙂


Author: Tammi Lewis

I was born and raised in WV. I live in Charleston, WV. I graduated with my Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Charleston and from Marshall University Graduate College with my Master’s Degree. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Certified Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor. I have been in the field of mental health and substance abuse for about 26 years. I started running about two years ago by beginning a running program to help me prepare for my first 5k. I had wanted to run a 5k for years but never got around to doing it. Two years ago there was an event that happened which sent me on an emotional rollercoaster; starting this program was a way to get off that rollercoaster. Once I finished that first 5k I got the running bug and haven't stopped running since.

8 thoughts on “If We Think It So It Shall Be”

  1. In Canada you would have to wait 4 to 6 months for that MRI. A two week wait for an approval sounds pretty swift to this Canadian! I absolutely adore everything you wrote about age. I subscribe to everything you expanded on. I’m told all the time that I don’t look 56. Well. what IS 56 supposed to look like?? I know people think they are being complimentary, but I still don’t like it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know it’s the most ridiculous statement. I just started asking what am I supposed to look like? Thanks for the gratitude today…only having to wait two weeks vs months. Always something to be grateful for..😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yup, had to go private last time, cost a small fortune. As a taxpayer I expect a bit better but there are people far worse off. The public health system is pretty much a scandal in Ireland but as I said there really are people far far worse off I’ve lots to be grateful for🙂

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s